Okay, had some Christmas money. :) I love the shoes. Loooooove them.
Friday, December 26, 2008
What a little over $100 buys at T.J. Maxx
Okay, had some Christmas money. :) I love the shoes. Loooooove them.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I'm SO tired
...and that's not unusual for me. It seems to be getting worse but I chalked it up to the holidays. Last time I went to the gym (before today) I worked out like 20 minutes, and couldn't do any more. Went home and slept for 3 hours. Sorta puts me off of working out!
Well, today I tried to give blood again and the nurse told me I needed to go to a doctor b/c my hemoglobin (I think that's it) level was pretty low. It's been going down pretty steadily for months so I guess I'm going to have to haul myself to a doctor. I hate going. I hate getting weighed. But most of all, I hate getting prescriptions and them NOT WORKING. I hate it when doctors oversimplify.
I hate women doctors that should be compassionate about women's problems and are simply dismissive. "You need to get a job. Get out there and support yourself." That was the answer to my hot flashes, mood swings, and irregular periods a few years ago. Yep. Just get a job. That'll cure me! It's called menopause, you arrogant witch!
Now I face going to a doctor and telling him (NO women doctors) that I'm tired all the time. Yeah, that'll be fun. Maybe he'll tell me to "just work FULL time!"
On top of trying to do the "normal" things like household stuff, mom stuff, I've got a 20-hour a week job, assistant den leader and pack secretary for the Scouts, DAR chapter regent (trying to organize a brand new chapter) and that doesn't even include the "fun" stuff like trying to play flute and sing for church. Even that was stressful b/c of the almost impossibly difficult song I played a couple of weeks ago. Geez.
And my problem is, that I feel like I have NO fun time...for me, you know? Can't go shopping - that takes money and of course, we're trying to watch it now. And I'm too freakin' tired to do anything else. At literally 6:00pm I'm about to fall asleep. I force myself to "get through the day" and THEN, on top of it all, I can't sleep at night! I can't stand taking sleeping pills - 90 percent of the time they don't work, and the other 10 percent I'm "hung over" the WHOLE next day.
So what on earth do I do? I feel like I just run on adrenaline most of the time, and when I stop, I crash. I'll sleep for hours on weekends during the day if I don't have somewhere to go. I feel like my brain and my body aren't in sync - I want to do SO much and I can't physically do it. I've got so many projects I want to do. Right now I'm just lucky to hold my head up. I feel like I'm in a sort of daze most of the time - too tired for day and too awake for night, but it's all one big weird feeling. I envy people that wake up "refreshed". I literally have not felt that in YEARS.
Maybe 2009 needs to be the year I get the focus back on me. I've got a lot of obligations, but that doesn't mean I can't take care of myself.
Well, today I tried to give blood again and the nurse told me I needed to go to a doctor b/c my hemoglobin (I think that's it) level was pretty low. It's been going down pretty steadily for months so I guess I'm going to have to haul myself to a doctor. I hate going. I hate getting weighed. But most of all, I hate getting prescriptions and them NOT WORKING. I hate it when doctors oversimplify.
I hate women doctors that should be compassionate about women's problems and are simply dismissive. "You need to get a job. Get out there and support yourself." That was the answer to my hot flashes, mood swings, and irregular periods a few years ago. Yep. Just get a job. That'll cure me! It's called menopause, you arrogant witch!
Now I face going to a doctor and telling him (NO women doctors) that I'm tired all the time. Yeah, that'll be fun. Maybe he'll tell me to "just work FULL time!"
On top of trying to do the "normal" things like household stuff, mom stuff, I've got a 20-hour a week job, assistant den leader and pack secretary for the Scouts, DAR chapter regent (trying to organize a brand new chapter) and that doesn't even include the "fun" stuff like trying to play flute and sing for church. Even that was stressful b/c of the almost impossibly difficult song I played a couple of weeks ago. Geez.
And my problem is, that I feel like I have NO fun time...for me, you know? Can't go shopping - that takes money and of course, we're trying to watch it now. And I'm too freakin' tired to do anything else. At literally 6:00pm I'm about to fall asleep. I force myself to "get through the day" and THEN, on top of it all, I can't sleep at night! I can't stand taking sleeping pills - 90 percent of the time they don't work, and the other 10 percent I'm "hung over" the WHOLE next day.
So what on earth do I do? I feel like I just run on adrenaline most of the time, and when I stop, I crash. I'll sleep for hours on weekends during the day if I don't have somewhere to go. I feel like my brain and my body aren't in sync - I want to do SO much and I can't physically do it. I've got so many projects I want to do. Right now I'm just lucky to hold my head up. I feel like I'm in a sort of daze most of the time - too tired for day and too awake for night, but it's all one big weird feeling. I envy people that wake up "refreshed". I literally have not felt that in YEARS.
Maybe 2009 needs to be the year I get the focus back on me. I've got a lot of obligations, but that doesn't mean I can't take care of myself.
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