Wednesday, December 09, 2009
KISS rocked Tulsa!!! It was AMAZING!
Their newest music video is on Yahoo music - http://new.music.yahoo.com/videos/Kiss--218619245 That really captures the feeling of being at the concert - same setup and everything!
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Where's my spiked eggnog?!
Well, the Christmas rush has begun! Between church activities, kid birthday parties, decorating, gifts, and parades, wow....but thrown in there Tuesday is the KISS concert!!! WOOHOOOO!! Ken went in 1979 or so to a KISS concert in Pittsburgh and said it was the best show he'd ever seen.
I've never been to a rock concert - only concerts I've ever been to are an Oak Ridge Boys and a Michael W. Smith (Christian) and those don't count as "rock" concerts!! I can NOT WAIT!!! We've got primo seats right smack in the middle of the 9th row on the floor.
Got a real busy tomorrow and Monday, and then it'll be AWESOME on Tuesday night!!!
I've never been to a rock concert - only concerts I've ever been to are an Oak Ridge Boys and a Michael W. Smith (Christian) and those don't count as "rock" concerts!! I can NOT WAIT!!! We've got primo seats right smack in the middle of the 9th row on the floor.
Got a real busy tomorrow and Monday, and then it'll be AWESOME on Tuesday night!!!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Daniel Boone is our ancestor! :)
A great-great-great-great....??.....uncle, to be exact. His brother, Israel Boone, is our direct ancestor.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Cub Scout Campout Stats
5 scorpions (that's including the 1 penny-sized one in our tent), 1 snake, 2 lizards, approx. 50 daddy longlegs, 1 black widow, 2 walkingstick bugs, 1 afternoon of activities, 1 mystery creature at tent door @ night, 2 American f...lags retired, 1 great nighttime fireside time, 2 loads of laundry (almost done), 3 wiped out family members. I've had my fill of nature for a while, but I'm glad we went. ;)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Chase Doesn't Own Us Anymore
Paid off the credit card debt. It is DONE. It hasn't hit me yet. We're so busy that the swirl of life is still going on and I haven't had time to reflect on this - WOW!
Friday, August 28, 2009
First Day of Fifth Grade
Can't believe Seth is in fifth grade - he'll be a BOY SCOUT in February. Wow!
OU Legends
Can't remember if I posted this or not - I still can't believe I saw all these guys at once!
Seth and Buddy Bradley
This was at the Blessing of the Backpacks @ church. They all got a cross keychain for their backpacks.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Busy
Things are about in full-swing around here. I started Handbell Choir practice - I like it! Now I don't have Thursday nights free, but oh well, I'll get over it. Cub Scouts start soon, too. Can't believe Seth'll be a Boy Scout in February. WOW.
I really need to start exercising in the morning so I can not only feel better, but just jump start the day, and the main goal, to lose some weight. I know what to do, I know how, I just don't do it. You know, if you're an alcoholic, you can stay completely away from alcohol. People that "use food" can't just quit! I know I use food to cheer myself up, as a reward, as a consolation, etc. And frankly, I just am SO busy most of the time I really don't think about what I'm eating, I'm just getting through the day.
I just don't have the patience to stress out over every calorie, and make all these handmade meals all the time. Seems like people that are thin are completely obsessed with working out and eating certain things. I just don't care that much - I'd like to have a real life, please!
I really need to start exercising in the morning so I can not only feel better, but just jump start the day, and the main goal, to lose some weight. I know what to do, I know how, I just don't do it. You know, if you're an alcoholic, you can stay completely away from alcohol. People that "use food" can't just quit! I know I use food to cheer myself up, as a reward, as a consolation, etc. And frankly, I just am SO busy most of the time I really don't think about what I'm eating, I'm just getting through the day.
I just don't have the patience to stress out over every calorie, and make all these handmade meals all the time. Seems like people that are thin are completely obsessed with working out and eating certain things. I just don't care that much - I'd like to have a real life, please!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
About School Supplies
It's that time of year. The smell of a fresh box of crayons always takes me back to the TG&Y store in the 70s. Crayolas. Ah! Anything above a 24 count was COOL. Now no one really understood why you'd get the 48 count - I mean, pay a little more, and the 64 count had a sharpener in it, you know? Even though I liked the box shape of the 48, you missed out on the really odd colors that way. I'm really bummed that they changed the colors/names. Seems like there's a ton of blue hued colors now.
Remember fluorescents? AH, that was the rarest of the rare and I swear I had my one little box of 8 fluorescents forEVER and used them down to nubs. I LOVED those. I know some people won't buy new crayons each school year for their kids to save money, but I insist on it. There's something about starting fresh in the fall with new supplies. And come in, it's like a dollar. Puh-lease! I get it - the whole saving money thing - if we have extra stuff from last year, of course we'll use it (unused spirals, pencils, etc). But for some reason, new crayons are just a thing with me. I take the old ones to church or somewhere like the Red Cross' kids area, waiting rooms, etc. But yep, it's new ones every year for school.
And pens. I remember when pens were on your school supply list, you had "grown up". When you graduated to pen-dom, it was A Very Big Deal. It was nerve-wracking! What if you messed up?! Made a mistake?! Wow!
Ok - so FF to 2009. My soon-to-be 5th grader has on his list "48 Wooden Pencils" and "16 Red Pens". Really? Do I even need to comment on this? Good GRIEF!!!!! Thank God for Big Lots, I'm telling you what. They have a 50 cent sale going on and between them and Wal-Mart, I got away with spending less than 13 bucks on school supplies for the year. Probably have never spent so little - don't know why, but 5th grade supplies aren't as picky and lengthy as previous years. Good thing. I know a lot of parents are ready to get the pitchforks and torches out - it's so nuts what we've been through getting literally a VERY certain BRAND and UPC code (I kid you not) of a freakin' pad of lined paper, only to realize the first day of school that it didn't matter at ALL and the icing on the cake was - they rarely used it. GRR! Okay, seriously - if there's any teachers out there, that is nuts. I don't mind getting the "good" brand of crayons, scissors, etc....but to be SO specific that you literally can't find something in your entire TOWN....even to the point of calling the company and finding out it was discontinued TWO YEARS AGO?!?!?! STOP. IT. Paper is paper folks. Lined or not. STOP THE INSANITY!
I'm so glad the list wasn't like that this year - I was shocked. I remember one year it was a certain BRAND OF PENCILS - Ticoranda or something? Again - really - pencils. Just say pencils. I understand if you want mechanical versus wooden. But a certain brand? I feel sorry for parents with more than one kid! And you don't want to be "that parent" that doesn't get what everyone else has (or do they???)....you don't want to start off the year with little Johnny or Sally being the only kid in the class without the RIGHT THING. LOL
So anyways, I'm really happy with the school supply situation this year. I did some good do-ahead shopping last year (getting packs of spirals for $0.25 in October, etc) and even if I didn't do that, it was still a good year. Thank you teachers!
Remember fluorescents? AH, that was the rarest of the rare and I swear I had my one little box of 8 fluorescents forEVER and used them down to nubs. I LOVED those. I know some people won't buy new crayons each school year for their kids to save money, but I insist on it. There's something about starting fresh in the fall with new supplies. And come in, it's like a dollar. Puh-lease! I get it - the whole saving money thing - if we have extra stuff from last year, of course we'll use it (unused spirals, pencils, etc). But for some reason, new crayons are just a thing with me. I take the old ones to church or somewhere like the Red Cross' kids area, waiting rooms, etc. But yep, it's new ones every year for school.
And pens. I remember when pens were on your school supply list, you had "grown up". When you graduated to pen-dom, it was A Very Big Deal. It was nerve-wracking! What if you messed up?! Made a mistake?! Wow!
Ok - so FF to 2009. My soon-to-be 5th grader has on his list "48 Wooden Pencils" and "16 Red Pens". Really? Do I even need to comment on this? Good GRIEF!!!!! Thank God for Big Lots, I'm telling you what. They have a 50 cent sale going on and between them and Wal-Mart, I got away with spending less than 13 bucks on school supplies for the year. Probably have never spent so little - don't know why, but 5th grade supplies aren't as picky and lengthy as previous years. Good thing. I know a lot of parents are ready to get the pitchforks and torches out - it's so nuts what we've been through getting literally a VERY certain BRAND and UPC code (I kid you not) of a freakin' pad of lined paper, only to realize the first day of school that it didn't matter at ALL and the icing on the cake was - they rarely used it. GRR! Okay, seriously - if there's any teachers out there, that is nuts. I don't mind getting the "good" brand of crayons, scissors, etc....but to be SO specific that you literally can't find something in your entire TOWN....even to the point of calling the company and finding out it was discontinued TWO YEARS AGO?!?!?! STOP. IT. Paper is paper folks. Lined or not. STOP THE INSANITY!
I'm so glad the list wasn't like that this year - I was shocked. I remember one year it was a certain BRAND OF PENCILS - Ticoranda or something? Again - really - pencils. Just say pencils. I understand if you want mechanical versus wooden. But a certain brand? I feel sorry for parents with more than one kid! And you don't want to be "that parent" that doesn't get what everyone else has (or do they???)....you don't want to start off the year with little Johnny or Sally being the only kid in the class without the RIGHT THING. LOL
So anyways, I'm really happy with the school supply situation this year. I did some good do-ahead shopping last year (getting packs of spirals for $0.25 in October, etc) and even if I didn't do that, it was still a good year. Thank you teachers!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Relaxing
I'm finished w/Day 4 of 10 Days backing up our financial person. Ah, summer. Everyone else gets vacations!!
I'll actually be gone the week of July 6th - the 6th is an office holiday so I only had to take 2 days off to have a week off (my work week is 3 days). So there's a light at the end of the tunnel!!
The picture is one of me and my Grandpa. One of my all time favorites. ;)
Friday, June 05, 2009
Doing Better
Got through the week. The Boy had a successful Cub Scout Day Camp. Got 2 bullseyes on the BB gun range, and one on archery. Got his picture, his certificate, his patch, and remembered to bring everything home (w/o Mom bugging him about it)!
I'm trying to just relax and let the week go. I'm trying to realize why people do things and why they act the way they do. I think it's pretty easy - some people are just weird. LOL
I wish I could let injustices go. I think Seth has my genes on this one. I had to keep telling him during camp "let it go" when kids were acting stupid or saying stupid things (most of the time not trying to hurt feelings, just being,well, stupid!). Anyways, it made me realize that I don't have anyone on my shoulder telling me that. Telling me "let it go" or "that's just the way they are", etc.
Working at a church, especially the one you attend, is a really odd thing. Your pastor is your boss. Your co-workers are (mostly) those you attend church with. You're with these people a LOT! You know things internally in the church that most don't know. Sometimes that's a really neat thing (like knowing the huge impact we have on the community) and sometimes it's a pain (like knowing how much money the electric bill really costs)!
I knew it would be a challenge, but I do enjoy my job. In fact, it really is pretty perfect. My first job out of college I did work more with the media (as in going to the TV stations, working with local celebrities, etc.) and I loved that, but other than that, I do a lot of the same things I did in that first job that I loved.
I've just noticed that I really do need time away - not just away from work, but physcially away from the office, and yes, the people! I love them, but I need a break sometimes. It's like your family - you love them, but everyone needs some "me time".
Now with our project of being debt free, this doesn't mean shopping at Kohl's for gemstone jewelry (even at 65% off with an additional 30% coupon - which is usually how I could afford such nice things)! Now "me time" might just mean going on Facebook or catching up on Young and the Restless! And you know what? It's not bad!
I'm one of those strange people that *loves* ironing. I think it's because some of my favorite memories of my childhood were of my mom teaching me how to iron and ironing little vintage handkerchiefs. I still have those! The smell of steam and starch makes me instantly happy. I've happily realized that that certain "me time" can actually be productive! You see your accomplishments!
Anyways, I'm better. I have a whole rack of clothes to iron and a new jug of distilled water. I'm off for a little "me time"!
I'm trying to just relax and let the week go. I'm trying to realize why people do things and why they act the way they do. I think it's pretty easy - some people are just weird. LOL
I wish I could let injustices go. I think Seth has my genes on this one. I had to keep telling him during camp "let it go" when kids were acting stupid or saying stupid things (most of the time not trying to hurt feelings, just being,well, stupid!). Anyways, it made me realize that I don't have anyone on my shoulder telling me that. Telling me "let it go" or "that's just the way they are", etc.
Working at a church, especially the one you attend, is a really odd thing. Your pastor is your boss. Your co-workers are (mostly) those you attend church with. You're with these people a LOT! You know things internally in the church that most don't know. Sometimes that's a really neat thing (like knowing the huge impact we have on the community) and sometimes it's a pain (like knowing how much money the electric bill really costs)!
I knew it would be a challenge, but I do enjoy my job. In fact, it really is pretty perfect. My first job out of college I did work more with the media (as in going to the TV stations, working with local celebrities, etc.) and I loved that, but other than that, I do a lot of the same things I did in that first job that I loved.
I've just noticed that I really do need time away - not just away from work, but physcially away from the office, and yes, the people! I love them, but I need a break sometimes. It's like your family - you love them, but everyone needs some "me time".
Now with our project of being debt free, this doesn't mean shopping at Kohl's for gemstone jewelry (even at 65% off with an additional 30% coupon - which is usually how I could afford such nice things)! Now "me time" might just mean going on Facebook or catching up on Young and the Restless! And you know what? It's not bad!
I'm one of those strange people that *loves* ironing. I think it's because some of my favorite memories of my childhood were of my mom teaching me how to iron and ironing little vintage handkerchiefs. I still have those! The smell of steam and starch makes me instantly happy. I've happily realized that that certain "me time" can actually be productive! You see your accomplishments!
Anyways, I'm better. I have a whole rack of clothes to iron and a new jug of distilled water. I'm off for a little "me time"!
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Ready to SAH
SAH = stay at home. As in stay-at-home mom. I wish we didn't rely on my salary now, or I'd be done w/working. I won't go into details since this is a public blog and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Somedays I truly envy those moms that SAH, esp. in the summer. I was there once, and it wasn't enough for me - I was too insecure. Now, I would do it in a minute if I could. Of course now, the economy sux and we're trying to pay off our credit card. Great. Can you say "stuck"?
Oh well. I'm sure it'll get better, blah blah blah. Doesn't help now.
Somedays I truly envy those moms that SAH, esp. in the summer. I was there once, and it wasn't enough for me - I was too insecure. Now, I would do it in a minute if I could. Of course now, the economy sux and we're trying to pay off our credit card. Great. Can you say "stuck"?
Oh well. I'm sure it'll get better, blah blah blah. Doesn't help now.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Almost May??
I can't believe April's almost over...my 40th birthday came and went (glad that's over with!) and work is getting busier and busier. May and June promise to be fairly horrid work-wise so really, I'll be glad to see July.
I think...of course that's the peak HOT time of the year so I think I'm just going to embrace it and plan on a week or two off in the pool. Maybe I'll make someone else do my job for a while instead of the other way around!!
Of course then July'll be over and school will start again mid-August. *sigh* I think I'm going to have to start chopping away again at my activities. Of course, the Scouts thing will be over Feb. 2010. I think I'm going to have to not go for the DAR Regent thing in August...I'm just really overwhelmed with everything and I'd love for someone else to take over. Frankly I'd love to just drop out of everything and take time off. I really might consider that...I feel time slipping away and I don't like that feeling.
I think...of course that's the peak HOT time of the year so I think I'm just going to embrace it and plan on a week or two off in the pool. Maybe I'll make someone else do my job for a while instead of the other way around!!
Of course then July'll be over and school will start again mid-August. *sigh* I think I'm going to have to start chopping away again at my activities. Of course, the Scouts thing will be over Feb. 2010. I think I'm going to have to not go for the DAR Regent thing in August...I'm just really overwhelmed with everything and I'd love for someone else to take over. Frankly I'd love to just drop out of everything and take time off. I really might consider that...I feel time slipping away and I don't like that feeling.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
WHOA I am so stressed out!
Ever forgot to write a check in your register? Okay, that's normal. It happens. But *I* had to forget the frickin' mortgage check!!! With the flurry of taxes and insurance junk from the sewer overflow, money's been flying in and out of our account like crazy. I haven't kept up with it very well and I paid for it.
Thank goodness we have enough to cover (barely). We get paid Friday so we just have to make it through today. OMG what a mess.
I so hate, hate, hate dealing with money. I hate numbers anyway. But I like to be correct and precise when I balance, etc. I hate dealing with it. I resent having to deal with it, quite honestly. But right now, this is the way it is. It'll be okay, it's just really hard right now.
I'm tired of doing so much. I'm wiped out. The weekend's coming and I'm not going to everything I "should" go to. TOUGH. I'll go to church and teach my SS class and sing in the choir and even get to ring the church bell. I'm glad to go there and I enjoy it. But geezus, life is getting overwhelming again and I'm tired of it being like this.
I quite literally do not have any fun things in my life besides maybe Facebook. I don't play my instruments anymore....I don't read any books....I don't even read the Bible anymore. I don't browse my vintage cookbooks for ideas. I don't cook unless forced into it by circumstance. I don't go to estate/garage sales. I don't do anything fun for me, you know?
Thing is, my life is good - I gripe, but it really is. I'm just tired of it going so fast. I'm so lucky to have a job I like (it's horribly busy right now, though) and I enjoy the Scouts and DAR, but they're busy, too. Add on trying to get laundry done (etc) and keeping up with all the mundane things....I'm beat!!
Oh well. I know things could be worse. I know that. I'm just tired of doing so much and not having the help I think I should have, and then feeling guilty for asking.
Thank goodness we have enough to cover (barely). We get paid Friday so we just have to make it through today. OMG what a mess.
I so hate, hate, hate dealing with money. I hate numbers anyway. But I like to be correct and precise when I balance, etc. I hate dealing with it. I resent having to deal with it, quite honestly. But right now, this is the way it is. It'll be okay, it's just really hard right now.
I'm tired of doing so much. I'm wiped out. The weekend's coming and I'm not going to everything I "should" go to. TOUGH. I'll go to church and teach my SS class and sing in the choir and even get to ring the church bell. I'm glad to go there and I enjoy it. But geezus, life is getting overwhelming again and I'm tired of it being like this.
I quite literally do not have any fun things in my life besides maybe Facebook. I don't play my instruments anymore....I don't read any books....I don't even read the Bible anymore. I don't browse my vintage cookbooks for ideas. I don't cook unless forced into it by circumstance. I don't go to estate/garage sales. I don't do anything fun for me, you know?
Thing is, my life is good - I gripe, but it really is. I'm just tired of it going so fast. I'm so lucky to have a job I like (it's horribly busy right now, though) and I enjoy the Scouts and DAR, but they're busy, too. Add on trying to get laundry done (etc) and keeping up with all the mundane things....I'm beat!!
Oh well. I know things could be worse. I know that. I'm just tired of doing so much and not having the help I think I should have, and then feeling guilty for asking.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Blue and Gold Dinner
Seth got his Webelos badge! Can't believe he'll be a Boy Scout this time next year. Wow.
Does Italy Have a Problem With Birds?
Okay, I bought this set of cookware (first new set in 17 years!) at Target. Made in Italy. What the heck?!
YAY!
OH man, this morning I had my sleep study follow-up. (Boy it took longer than I thought, but that's okay.) Going over everything I'd been through....what I felt like then....made me realize how far I've come. I didn't realize it until this morning, but when I went in to the center (way back in February) I was in a bad place. Mentally I was just in a fog all the time I think - I'd get through the day but I was just SO WEARY physically that it was really affecting me mentally. I was doing my job and doing what I was supposed to, but not enjoying life at all. I would have good moments here and there, but I was just going through the motions of everything else.
I realized this morning that I've REALLY come a long way. All it took was SOME SLEEP. Now I quite literally sleep through the night and it's restful. I'm not saying everything is absolutely perfect but it's darn close. I felt like a shadow of my self and now I'm finally back to being me again!
Going through old photo albums over spring break also helped me - made me realize well, first of all, I was a darn cute kid. I was! But not just that, it made me think about my personality - I've always been a happy person. Not annoying (I hope!) perky to the point of wanting me slap me, just a genuinely happy person most of the time. Well, I was NOT that person for a loooooong time. Starting about 14 I've had sleep problems and I guess I've just taken it as part of life. Now it hasn't been horribly bad every night ever since then or anything, it just usually takes me a couple of hours to fall asleep and then I'd wake up several times. Talk about not resting!
But now with the c-pap machine, I usually go to sleep in about 30 minutes. I don't even use sleeping pills or anything! It's amazing! And the lady said today that I'll probably start losing more weight, too b/c my metabolism is "shot" b/c of the lack of sleep over all these years. Good to know - I've been SO frustrated with exercise/eating well not working and given up. Thought I was just doomed to this body.
Now I did get a few samples of Lunesta just for those nights when you know you're wound up and need to get to sleep. I've only had like 2 nights (in 6 weeks!) when I felt like I really needed something (but didn't have anything). So they gave me some samples (freebies!). Good to know they're there.
I feel like a totally renewed person. I'm so grateful for this sleep study. It was worth going to Dr. I-Have-No-Bedside-Manner to get through it. I feel like my whole body is healthier. I will still continue to take my iron protein shake, iron supplement, and multi-vitamin just to make sure my iron's up. I can really tell the difference if I slack off a couple of days on that. But the fatigue is GONE. Hopefully FOREVER!!! YAY!!!
I realized this morning that I've REALLY come a long way. All it took was SOME SLEEP. Now I quite literally sleep through the night and it's restful. I'm not saying everything is absolutely perfect but it's darn close. I felt like a shadow of my self and now I'm finally back to being me again!
Going through old photo albums over spring break also helped me - made me realize well, first of all, I was a darn cute kid. I was! But not just that, it made me think about my personality - I've always been a happy person. Not annoying (I hope!) perky to the point of wanting me slap me, just a genuinely happy person most of the time. Well, I was NOT that person for a loooooong time. Starting about 14 I've had sleep problems and I guess I've just taken it as part of life. Now it hasn't been horribly bad every night ever since then or anything, it just usually takes me a couple of hours to fall asleep and then I'd wake up several times. Talk about not resting!
But now with the c-pap machine, I usually go to sleep in about 30 minutes. I don't even use sleeping pills or anything! It's amazing! And the lady said today that I'll probably start losing more weight, too b/c my metabolism is "shot" b/c of the lack of sleep over all these years. Good to know - I've been SO frustrated with exercise/eating well not working and given up. Thought I was just doomed to this body.
Now I did get a few samples of Lunesta just for those nights when you know you're wound up and need to get to sleep. I've only had like 2 nights (in 6 weeks!) when I felt like I really needed something (but didn't have anything). So they gave me some samples (freebies!). Good to know they're there.
I feel like a totally renewed person. I'm so grateful for this sleep study. It was worth going to Dr. I-Have-No-Bedside-Manner to get through it. I feel like my whole body is healthier. I will still continue to take my iron protein shake, iron supplement, and multi-vitamin just to make sure my iron's up. I can really tell the difference if I slack off a couple of days on that. But the fatigue is GONE. Hopefully FOREVER!!! YAY!!!
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Feeling Better...but...
...I really can't seem to get all the planets aligned around here! Okay, so the c-pap thing is working, but now that I have/had a cold, that slows progress. Grr!
As far as doctors, etc - I think I'm just going to play it by ear. I'll go to Dr. Snarky since 1) he's on the health plan and b) he *did* order the sleep lab which is really helping out.
I think it's that whole thing of expectations. In a church class about depression, they said that a lot of people have these high expectations, and when they aren't met, you feel let down. I didn't think that was me, but then I really thought about it.
I mean, really, here's an example - you go to a doctor, you expect a normal amount of respect and good advice. Okay, then you go, and you get a snarky jerk who ignores the main reason you've come. There's the let down.
So now, I guess the thing is to just literally expect the worst and hope for the best! Sounds pessimistic, but hey, it works. Same with friends - I guess I've always had such high expectations, and when I get let down, I'm like "See - thanks a lot! Now get off my planet!"
I know I have unrealistic expectations for everything - but aren't you supposed to "want the best" for your life? Is it too much to want your house to be neat? Your son to put things away? Your husband to help out with the child?
So where's the happy medium? I guess it's just doing your best...day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if you have to (and I do sometimes!).
So - I hope for a good night's sleep - I'll try not to expect to be completely refreshed, but if I am, woohoo!
As far as doctors, etc - I think I'm just going to play it by ear. I'll go to Dr. Snarky since 1) he's on the health plan and b) he *did* order the sleep lab which is really helping out.
I think it's that whole thing of expectations. In a church class about depression, they said that a lot of people have these high expectations, and when they aren't met, you feel let down. I didn't think that was me, but then I really thought about it.
I mean, really, here's an example - you go to a doctor, you expect a normal amount of respect and good advice. Okay, then you go, and you get a snarky jerk who ignores the main reason you've come. There's the let down.
So now, I guess the thing is to just literally expect the worst and hope for the best! Sounds pessimistic, but hey, it works. Same with friends - I guess I've always had such high expectations, and when I get let down, I'm like "See - thanks a lot! Now get off my planet!"
I know I have unrealistic expectations for everything - but aren't you supposed to "want the best" for your life? Is it too much to want your house to be neat? Your son to put things away? Your husband to help out with the child?
So where's the happy medium? I guess it's just doing your best...day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if you have to (and I do sometimes!).
So - I hope for a good night's sleep - I'll try not to expect to be completely refreshed, but if I am, woohoo!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Vintage Grady and Peg - Circa 1977
This was my favorite square dancing outfits they had. PINK! Mom had silver shoes. I liked Dad's pink towel. Now the outfits are in the hands of my church's children's drama room! I'm glad they'll "live on"! :)
Monday, February 16, 2009
Lunesta is a gift from above
I'm actually tired. I will actually SLEEP tonight! Thank God (literally) for Lunesta. I hope I spelled it right. Actually, I don't care - it works whatever the name is! Woohoo!
I think a LOT of my problems physically can be traced back to not getting sleep. I've already dropped 5 pounds and I have done NOTHING different. I think it's just less stress on the body. Wow. I actually feel human again. :)
Anyways, I can't stay up all night - I have a schedule! Sweet dreams.....
I think a LOT of my problems physically can be traced back to not getting sleep. I've already dropped 5 pounds and I have done NOTHING different. I think it's just less stress on the body. Wow. I actually feel human again. :)
Anyways, I can't stay up all night - I have a schedule! Sweet dreams.....
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Getting Sleep
Ok, so the Lunesta is working. Now I just need to get the other person in the room on something. :)
One I get the sleeping thing going, maybe I can work on the other 1,294,394 things I need to do. If I really had my way, I'd quit work, quit church, quit DAR, quit every other activity I do, except probably Scouts. I wish I could go back to being a stay-at-home mom again and focus on that. I don't think that's ever going to happen again. Part of me is pretty sad about that. I'm just racing through life now and it's going by FAST.
I think once the flooring is fixed, maybe that'll help things. It's SO stressful having the house all torn up. Plus I stupidly started the taxes (should have left it alone for a long time) and we owe a bunch, so that leads to even more stress. I just want to give up sometimes.
One I get the sleeping thing going, maybe I can work on the other 1,294,394 things I need to do. If I really had my way, I'd quit work, quit church, quit DAR, quit every other activity I do, except probably Scouts. I wish I could go back to being a stay-at-home mom again and focus on that. I don't think that's ever going to happen again. Part of me is pretty sad about that. I'm just racing through life now and it's going by FAST.
I think once the flooring is fixed, maybe that'll help things. It's SO stressful having the house all torn up. Plus I stupidly started the taxes (should have left it alone for a long time) and we owe a bunch, so that leads to even more stress. I just want to give up sometimes.
Monday, February 09, 2009
What to do, what to do?
Why does health and taking care of yourself have to be so hard? You know, I actually like my primary doctor, been going to him for a long time, but he just isn't aggressive enough about dealing with problems. He's super conservative about giving out medicine or treatments and usually you'd think that's fine, but it takes for-freakin'-ever to get something fixed!
So then I try to go to different people and have run into THE most arrogant bunch of people. Good grief! I'm not asking anybody to baby me, I just want some help. I know I could lose weight, but good grief I don't take up two airline seats or have trouble going up the stairs or anything - I weigh more than I should. Period. Big deal! But they have trouble looking past that.
And when you get older, you start hearing horror stories about doctors blowing you off (especially if you're a woman) and you think, "well, that won't happen to me". Well, it can, and it does! I'm walking, living breathing proof! LOL I mean, come on now, the things I've personally heard and what my friends have said about what doctors say to them is frankly abusive. If you said stuff like that in a workplace, you'd be reprimanded if not fired on the spot.
But NO....it's okay because they are the (cue heavenly music) DOCTORS. The experts. Okay, fine. You know so much? Tell me what to do, and shut up. No opinions, just freakin' tell me what is WRONG with me (and I know something is) and HELP ME. I thought that's what doctors were for.
Oh well. Seriously though, I'm pondering whether to start over with a new doctor (again) or go to one of two recommended docs I've been told about. I'm so tired of the whole process, tho. I'm tired of feeling like I'm 4 years old and being reprimanded. Good grief, my parents weren't even like this to me! (well then again, I have really good parents, but you get my point). It's so ridiculous.
Well, so I'm trying to figure out - do I try again, or do I go to the iridologist in town? I'm tempted to go to the Indian iridologists that I've been to before years ago. I still have the sheet they gave me on what was wrong with me. It would be interesting to compare it. I really love the alternative medicine thing. I have such a high tolerance to regular medicine (it doesn't work for me) that I think I'm just one of those people that NEEDS something different. I'm getting really concerned b/c I haven't been able to give blood in several months and I've never had that problem in the 20 years I've given.
This is the time where I wish I didn't work, even part-time. I wish I had a week to focus on myself. Actually, there's always vacation, and seriously, I may have to take next week (after this) off anyways b/c of possibly getting carpet/vinyl flooring replaced. I dunno. My dream would be to have a whole week to myself to really just focus on getting healthy. You know what, I may just do it anyways....make myself go to the gym, drink tons of water, eat better. I mean, really, do I need to be alone to do that? NO! I need to incorporate that in my life anyways. *sigh*
Well, I also need to sleep - so I'm off to try....
So then I try to go to different people and have run into THE most arrogant bunch of people. Good grief! I'm not asking anybody to baby me, I just want some help. I know I could lose weight, but good grief I don't take up two airline seats or have trouble going up the stairs or anything - I weigh more than I should. Period. Big deal! But they have trouble looking past that.
And when you get older, you start hearing horror stories about doctors blowing you off (especially if you're a woman) and you think, "well, that won't happen to me". Well, it can, and it does! I'm walking, living breathing proof! LOL I mean, come on now, the things I've personally heard and what my friends have said about what doctors say to them is frankly abusive. If you said stuff like that in a workplace, you'd be reprimanded if not fired on the spot.
But NO....it's okay because they are the (cue heavenly music) DOCTORS. The experts. Okay, fine. You know so much? Tell me what to do, and shut up. No opinions, just freakin' tell me what is WRONG with me (and I know something is) and HELP ME. I thought that's what doctors were for.
Oh well. Seriously though, I'm pondering whether to start over with a new doctor (again) or go to one of two recommended docs I've been told about. I'm so tired of the whole process, tho. I'm tired of feeling like I'm 4 years old and being reprimanded. Good grief, my parents weren't even like this to me! (well then again, I have really good parents, but you get my point). It's so ridiculous.
Well, so I'm trying to figure out - do I try again, or do I go to the iridologist in town? I'm tempted to go to the Indian iridologists that I've been to before years ago. I still have the sheet they gave me on what was wrong with me. It would be interesting to compare it. I really love the alternative medicine thing. I have such a high tolerance to regular medicine (it doesn't work for me) that I think I'm just one of those people that NEEDS something different. I'm getting really concerned b/c I haven't been able to give blood in several months and I've never had that problem in the 20 years I've given.
This is the time where I wish I didn't work, even part-time. I wish I had a week to focus on myself. Actually, there's always vacation, and seriously, I may have to take next week (after this) off anyways b/c of possibly getting carpet/vinyl flooring replaced. I dunno. My dream would be to have a whole week to myself to really just focus on getting healthy. You know what, I may just do it anyways....make myself go to the gym, drink tons of water, eat better. I mean, really, do I need to be alone to do that? NO! I need to incorporate that in my life anyways. *sigh*
Well, I also need to sleep - so I'm off to try....
Dang. Up late again!
Grr! Well, the wind is sweeping down the plains and it's driving me NUTS!! It is SO freakishly windy and the house is creaking like an old barn. Good grief! Add that to my stress over getting the flooring replaced after our lovely sewer problem and yep, I'm up again. Eh.
I think I'll repost my "random things about me" from my facebook page. Reading it always makes me feel better. :)
Here it is:
1. I own 7 lava lamps.
2. I also wear lots of beads, flow-y clothes, treat animals ethically, want to save the planet, drive a VW, burn incense, used cloth diapers for my son, and use alternative medicines....and I'm a conservative Republican. I know it doesn't make sense to a lot of people, but it makes sense to me.
3. I know #2 was long but it was sort of one thing bunched together.
4. I played piccolo in the OU marching band for all 4 years of my college days and LOVED IT. I practiced for literally hours a day until my chin was numb and my fingers ached before my first audition because I wanted it SO BAD.
5. I am an only child and I love it.
6. My son is an only child and he loves it.
7. My husband (who is not an only child) is from West Virginia and got me to be a Mountaineers fan. The only time I ever rooted against them was when they played OU last year. I didn't like it that OU lost, but it softened the blow that WVU did, 'cause I really do love the 'eers!
8. I've given 67 pints of blood since 1989.
9. My goal in life is to be a American Red Cross Disaster Relief Volunteer. I wish I could now but it's not practical with a little boy at home.
10. I worked for the Tulsa Drillers baseball team for two summers during college.
11. I picked my college major from a TU (Tulsa) catalog...the marketing classes sounded so interesting so there you go. The rest of my life decided.
12. I could have gotten a music scholarship from OU but I would have had to change my major to music. I was afraid it would ruin my love of music to do it as a major, so I didn't do that. I'm glad, though. My life would be totally different if I'd taken that path. Because....
13. I met my husband at Williams Telecommunications in the summer of 1990. He was an engineer and I was an intern in the marketing dept. Same floor. Same copy room. He was cute in his paisley suspenders. :) Still love him as much as I did then. Been married 17 1/2 years.
14. I really, really like Dr Pepper.
15. I work at my church's office and I love my job. I love helping people and I get paid for it!
16. I believe that money isn't everything, but it sure helps in paying the bills. :)
17. My parents have been married for over 40 years, and I'm hoping to do the same (at least!).
18. I was born in Nuremberg, Bavaria, Germany in an U.S. Army hospital. I have birth certificates in both German and English.
19. My genealogy can be traced back to Germany, Ireland and England (on my dad's side it goes back to 1605 in Liverpool).
20. On my mother's side, we have an American Revolutionary War soldier, Simon Rinehardt, who fought in the Continential Army. I'm therefore a member of the D.A.R.
21. I've just helped to start a chapter of D.A.R. in Owasso and am the Chapter Regent. You may call me Madam Regent. ;)
22. I wanted to be a cheerleader and once tried out in 6th grade at a Baptist school I went to. Didn't make it, though, and I was devastated. Then again....would I have been in the OU band later on? I think not. There you go again...the whole life path thing.
23. I love Elvis, Glenn Miller, Bon Jovi and the Bee Gees, among many others. My iPod has a really random mix of tunes!
24. I don't like it when people are condescending to me or anyone else. I want to slap them.
25. I've watched Young and the Restless since the 70s.
26. I love pink. Like, freakishly.
27. I have a pink Conair hairdryer from when I was in high school, and it still works. I really like it.
28. I know my physique could be better, but I was paid $80/hr as a plus-size model in the 90s, so there's the whole "you use what you got" deal.
29. I once got paid $50 to act in a U.S. Coast Guard training film. It was classified material so I never got to see the finished product.
30. Yeah I know I'm going on past 25, but meh.
31. I've been a member of a religious cult. Not a wild bald-headed-people-chanting-in-the-airport one, just one that didn't believe in the Trinity and was way into studying the Bible and witnessing. (Actually, Mormons are considered a cult,too, if you get picky about it....)
32. I decided to "start over" religion-wise and researched. And researched. Found that the United Methodist Church was exactly what I was looking for.
33. I know where I'm going when I die. And I'm not afraid of dying.
34. I'm (well...will be) an organ donor.
35. I believe in America. I know we'll be okay no matter what.
36. I don't believe that a government should be too large and all-powerful. I'm conservative and wish those that SAY they are actually put it into practice.
37. I don't hate liberals. (I may not agree with them, but I don't hate them.) I have my beliefs, and I respect others' beliefs and hope for the same back. I wish everyone would just get to work and shut up about it!
38. I'm weary of politics now.
39. My cat is laying on my arm right now and I'm not moving him. (Why? I don't know.)
40. I can't believe I went to 40. Yes I can. It's me.
41. I'm a big believer in the whole "Golden Rule" thing.
42. I think when you focus on the eternal, life seems easier even if there's challenges. And a lot of times, that's not as easy as it sounds.
43. I'm thankful for all of you. :)
44. I'm not going to tag anyone b/c I'm really hungry and I want to eat lunch already!
I think I'll repost my "random things about me" from my facebook page. Reading it always makes me feel better. :)
Here it is:
1. I own 7 lava lamps.
2. I also wear lots of beads, flow-y clothes, treat animals ethically, want to save the planet, drive a VW, burn incense, used cloth diapers for my son, and use alternative medicines....and I'm a conservative Republican. I know it doesn't make sense to a lot of people, but it makes sense to me.
3. I know #2 was long but it was sort of one thing bunched together.
4. I played piccolo in the OU marching band for all 4 years of my college days and LOVED IT. I practiced for literally hours a day until my chin was numb and my fingers ached before my first audition because I wanted it SO BAD.
5. I am an only child and I love it.
6. My son is an only child and he loves it.
7. My husband (who is not an only child) is from West Virginia and got me to be a Mountaineers fan. The only time I ever rooted against them was when they played OU last year. I didn't like it that OU lost, but it softened the blow that WVU did, 'cause I really do love the 'eers!
8. I've given 67 pints of blood since 1989.
9. My goal in life is to be a American Red Cross Disaster Relief Volunteer. I wish I could now but it's not practical with a little boy at home.
10. I worked for the Tulsa Drillers baseball team for two summers during college.
11. I picked my college major from a TU (Tulsa) catalog...the marketing classes sounded so interesting so there you go. The rest of my life decided.
12. I could have gotten a music scholarship from OU but I would have had to change my major to music. I was afraid it would ruin my love of music to do it as a major, so I didn't do that. I'm glad, though. My life would be totally different if I'd taken that path. Because....
13. I met my husband at Williams Telecommunications in the summer of 1990. He was an engineer and I was an intern in the marketing dept. Same floor. Same copy room. He was cute in his paisley suspenders. :) Still love him as much as I did then. Been married 17 1/2 years.
14. I really, really like Dr Pepper.
15. I work at my church's office and I love my job. I love helping people and I get paid for it!
16. I believe that money isn't everything, but it sure helps in paying the bills. :)
17. My parents have been married for over 40 years, and I'm hoping to do the same (at least!).
18. I was born in Nuremberg, Bavaria, Germany in an U.S. Army hospital. I have birth certificates in both German and English.
19. My genealogy can be traced back to Germany, Ireland and England (on my dad's side it goes back to 1605 in Liverpool).
20. On my mother's side, we have an American Revolutionary War soldier, Simon Rinehardt, who fought in the Continential Army. I'm therefore a member of the D.A.R.
21. I've just helped to start a chapter of D.A.R. in Owasso and am the Chapter Regent. You may call me Madam Regent. ;)
22. I wanted to be a cheerleader and once tried out in 6th grade at a Baptist school I went to. Didn't make it, though, and I was devastated. Then again....would I have been in the OU band later on? I think not. There you go again...the whole life path thing.
23. I love Elvis, Glenn Miller, Bon Jovi and the Bee Gees, among many others. My iPod has a really random mix of tunes!
24. I don't like it when people are condescending to me or anyone else. I want to slap them.
25. I've watched Young and the Restless since the 70s.
26. I love pink. Like, freakishly.
27. I have a pink Conair hairdryer from when I was in high school, and it still works. I really like it.
28. I know my physique could be better, but I was paid $80/hr as a plus-size model in the 90s, so there's the whole "you use what you got" deal.
29. I once got paid $50 to act in a U.S. Coast Guard training film. It was classified material so I never got to see the finished product.
30. Yeah I know I'm going on past 25, but meh.
31. I've been a member of a religious cult. Not a wild bald-headed-people-chanting-in-the-airport one, just one that didn't believe in the Trinity and was way into studying the Bible and witnessing. (Actually, Mormons are considered a cult,too, if you get picky about it....)
32. I decided to "start over" religion-wise and researched. And researched. Found that the United Methodist Church was exactly what I was looking for.
33. I know where I'm going when I die. And I'm not afraid of dying.
34. I'm (well...will be) an organ donor.
35. I believe in America. I know we'll be okay no matter what.
36. I don't believe that a government should be too large and all-powerful. I'm conservative and wish those that SAY they are actually put it into practice.
37. I don't hate liberals. (I may not agree with them, but I don't hate them.) I have my beliefs, and I respect others' beliefs and hope for the same back. I wish everyone would just get to work and shut up about it!
38. I'm weary of politics now.
39. My cat is laying on my arm right now and I'm not moving him. (Why? I don't know.)
40. I can't believe I went to 40. Yes I can. It's me.
41. I'm a big believer in the whole "Golden Rule" thing.
42. I think when you focus on the eternal, life seems easier even if there's challenges. And a lot of times, that's not as easy as it sounds.
43. I'm thankful for all of you. :)
44. I'm not going to tag anyone b/c I'm really hungry and I want to eat lunch already!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I'm Through With Conventional Doctors
"Everything's Just Fine!"
Yep, that's what the chipper nurse told me over the phone re: my numerous tests. I just said "Thanks" and didn't even bother to explain anything. That no, everything's NOT just fine. I don't FEEL just fine. My body doesn't feel just fine. Something isn't RIGHT. But no, it's not just fine.
So I've taken it upon myself to educate myself on more alternative ways to heal myself. It's obvious that regular medicine isn't the answer. You might be one point away from abnormal, but in their minds, "everything's just fine!" and "you're in the normal range". Don't look at the full picture or anything, just stare at the (probably one of hundreds) of test results and declare everything's just fine and move along to the next.
Should I expect a doctor to take into account that after only 20 minutes of a workout, that I'm so exhausted and fatigued that I sleep for HOURS and HOURS afterwards - in the middle of the day? Nah. I'm sure that's normal.
I'm too tired to list everything else, but that's a good example.
I've come really close to the edge - I've almost completely given up on everything. When you go through it, you understand. It's not a "oh gee, I had a rough day, I'm tired". It's a "I can't hardly move any part of my body and I'm about to fall asleep and it's only 9:00am" tired. But "everything's just fine!"
Give me a break.
Yep, that's what the chipper nurse told me over the phone re: my numerous tests. I just said "Thanks" and didn't even bother to explain anything. That no, everything's NOT just fine. I don't FEEL just fine. My body doesn't feel just fine. Something isn't RIGHT. But no, it's not just fine.
So I've taken it upon myself to educate myself on more alternative ways to heal myself. It's obvious that regular medicine isn't the answer. You might be one point away from abnormal, but in their minds, "everything's just fine!" and "you're in the normal range". Don't look at the full picture or anything, just stare at the (probably one of hundreds) of test results and declare everything's just fine and move along to the next.
Should I expect a doctor to take into account that after only 20 minutes of a workout, that I'm so exhausted and fatigued that I sleep for HOURS and HOURS afterwards - in the middle of the day? Nah. I'm sure that's normal.
I'm too tired to list everything else, but that's a good example.
I've come really close to the edge - I've almost completely given up on everything. When you go through it, you understand. It's not a "oh gee, I had a rough day, I'm tired". It's a "I can't hardly move any part of my body and I'm about to fall asleep and it's only 9:00am" tired. But "everything's just fine!"
Give me a break.
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